Monday, May 22, 2017


I've been ask that a lot recently, What was it like moving to Europe? When are you coming back home? Why are you not being yourself? At first I never knew how to answer these questions. I was young with an old heart, but not as outspoken than I am now. Scared that everyone would judge me, Scared that I would be scolded for not being who they claim I am?
But listen, that is why I like living in Europe. It give me the chance to finally be away from influence of my family and my friends molding me into something I am not, I got to experience new things and cultures. I am very grateful to embark on this self learning journey on my own. To actually sit and finally realize, Who I really am.
when I just moved from Sint Maarten to the Netherlands. It was much of a big step I had just turned 18. My mom was the type of mom that wouldn't let me have my way, She still treated me as her baby. I persuaded her, change her mind, to let me embark on this journey. I do understand why she wanted to treat me that way and I appreciated it. But I am way to ambitious to have continue staying on the islands. I had dreams, goals and a vision on where I want to see myself. It is a bit hard to achieve certain goals like what I have in mind without judgement, constant judgement of people telling you that. Your dreams are foolish, They are not realistic, It is something you wouldn't achieve. Of course it is something I won't achieve, not there. I do love my island and my family and friends But I had to leave my beautiful home behind.
It was hard at first because Where I came from dutch was just a language we only spoke at school. We were taught in dutch, We spoke dutch with our teachers, also sometimes English if the teacher isn't as difficult. In our free time English was something that was our spoken language. It had a few times me my mom and siblings would sit at home and talk to each other in dutch but that rarely happen. 

When I just moved I was more introverted than usual, people didn't know who I was. I was scared to ask questions. I would avoid a conversation. I would argue with myself, and get depressed because of the lack of new friendship opportunities I let go. I had to get over my fear of speaking dutch. I didn't want people to stare at me and be like why is she ruining my language. But little did i realize that dutch was my language too. I was born in the Dutch Antilles, I had as much right to the language as any one else. I started to become more confident and wanted to talk more. I mean my dutch isn't perfect but everyone understood me and they seem to love and envy my accent when I speak dutch.
Moral of this story don't ever be scared to show your through self because people would find you as interesting as ever. Hey that's what it was like in the beginning of just moving to Europe? Don't be scared to embark on yourself learning journey. You will uncover talents and a part of yourself that you never thought you had. I mean my journey made become even more, and that is a proud Caribbean Gem falling for Europe. I am not saying that I'll live here forever, I am also not saying I am ready to go back. I still have a far journey ahead. I have more to learn and much more to see and this journey I will be sharing with you!

More to come, Soon!
Stay Rockin! xx

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